Old Entry

I posted this Nov. 6th, 2006:

It feels like all I've done lately is complain about things. I really have no right at all whatsoever to do so. I chose the path of integrity for a reason, and although it destroyed most of, or all, of what I thought was good in my life.. I'm still blessed. Last night was the ultimate example of this.

So Charlie and I went to Jack and the Box..it's become our favorite place when we realized it's open 24/7 and cheap. So anyway, we're at Jack and the Box before the Mae concert, just talking about everything going on in our lives. How crazy the last month has been for us, and how our situations are very much the same. We had reached the point where we hated integrity and what it had done to us. Truth be told, it's horrible. We felt like everything we had was stripped from us. Some friends, a relationship.

Then God got involved.

We're getting off the freeway at Congress and a homeless man is standing there with his cardboard sign. I felt the need to give him some money so I reach in my back pocket, but the light turned green and cars were honking at me so I told the man "Stay there, I'll be right back." I turned into the Circle K right there and told charlie we're gonna go over there and give him a few bucks. We rushed out of the car and started walking out of the gas station when a man's car broke down right there because he was out of gas. So we offered to help him push his car into the gas station. It was something small, but we knew that God had placed us there in that moment for that reason.

So then we walked across the street to the other side of the freeway where the man we saw was ready to beat up another homeless man, and his wife was trying to stop it. Charlie and I just said, "hi." and it ceased. The other man walked off. We gave like 5 bucks to the man, and said God Bless. His wife was thankful just that we showed up "to break up the fight". So at this point Charlie and I are just like...we're on God's timing now. Just in span of a couple minutes we were used to push a car, provide money, "break up a fight", and then we talked to the other man that was involved in the fight. It was so humbling. It seems small, and a much smaller deal than I'm building it up to be. But had you been there with Charlie and I...you just felt God doing His thing.

Our problems were just gone. Worthless. Every person we encountered that night God had used us in some way. Money, fellowship, labor. Something. We talked to many other people as well. Because I'm dumb and in the rush of getting out of the car I locked the keys in the car. But even that God used. The man we'd helped move the car didn't have money to fill up some gas. I didn't have my wallet on me. It was in the car. I just took the few bucks I needed for the homeless man. Charlie dug in his pockets and came up with a few bucks in change for the man. It must have been enough to get him where he needed to go next because he left.

Point is, I'm no longer on my timing. God slapped me in the face last night through humility and grace. He was showing me, once again, that His path is rough no matter where you're at, but it's abundant. I can honestly say I'm absolutely miserable right now, but I've never been more thankful to be miserable.

thank You