I can't imagine what Peter must have felt that night. He wasn't there to watch Jesus die; no, he was hiding. He would hear later that John had to point Jesus out to His own mother, for that's how unrecognizable they had made Him. Peter would stand by a fire warming his hands, listening as just a hundred feet away they led Jesus to the courts. There weren't many out. It was the middle of the night, hardly a time for an arrest.
But this was no ordinary arrest.
They had brought in false witnesses to get an accusation but even their stories couldn't match up. Finally, the Chief Priest asked the Accused, "Are you the Son of God, the Christ?" Oh and it is here that Jesus finally decides to speak up. It was not when they were falsely accusing Him, it was not while they mocked Him. No. It was here where most people would have lied to save themselves. It is here where Jesus tells the truth to save us: "It is as you say." That was all they needed.
Peter watched as they led Him away to be tried, beaten, and eventually killed. He couldn't stand to watch. He denied even knowing Jesus. A sting of guilt, and maybe anger filled him. Anger at what? Himself? Jesus? Maybe both. Just a few hours ago he had told his Lord that he would die for him. He couldn't have known how bitter those words would become.
Judas was trustworthy. He was the treasurer. There's no better sign of trust among friends than giving all your money to one person and having faith they'll use it accordingly. Judas always wanted what was best. It was he who asked Jesus why he let the woman anoint Him with oil when it could have been used to sell and give money to the poor. Always money on his mind. Always looking at how to best use what he had. And Jesus, well, He didn't do the things Judas had expected. It had been three years and nothing had changed. Rome still ruled their lives. They were still oppressed, sometimes, he thought, more than his forefathers in Egypt ever were. This Messiah, the Christ, hadn't done a thing. Sure, He healed and had challenging teachings. He most definitely spoke with an authority no one had ever seen but for what? What was all that leading to? Maybe if he could get Jesus to take that leap. Maybe being arrested will make Him realize the revolution He needs to create.
He went to the religious leaders and they paid him thirty pieces of silver: a slave's wages. That felt about right to Judas, but he was convinced he was doing the right thing for the Jews. He knew Jesus could start a new Kingdom, like He always talked about, He just needed a push in the right direction.
Oh if only he had known...
That Saturday was the longest day for both of them. Peter hid. He might have fished. He might have walked by the tomb, saw that the stone was still there and wondered what he'd done with the last three years. Jesus had said something about rising in three days, but maybe it was just another parable. Who knew what Jesus meant at this point. Did it matter? The man was dead.
Judas felt terrible. He gave back his slave wages, gave away his hope, and gave up his life. If only he'd had more hope. Peter might have felt the same way, having betrayed Jesus in a different way. But he was too stubborn to admit Jesus was gone.
Then the tomb was empty. The women came to Peter excited, screaming even. They had lost their minds. If this was an attempt to make him feel better, he was going to be very angry. But they were right, the tomb was empty. He saw it for himself. Then Jesus found him on the lake, and he jumped out to him. Maybe he thought he could walk on water again, but there would be no way he would look away this time.
I can't imagine the joy that filled Peter. I know the end of the story. I know the resurrection is true; a proof of the death I deserve, and a proof of the life I have been given. And if it is true, then I can no longer take Jesus' words as just words. I can no longer take the radical, harsh, and sometimes plain crazy teachings He taught, and pick and choose what I'll follow. Now everything is valid. Everything is true.
"God made Him who knew no sin to be sin, so we might become the righteousness of God." (2 Corinth. 5:21) He who knew no sin BECAME sin for us. He was the wretched thing. He was nothing. He was human. He was death. We sin all the time and never experience the abandonment of God, but He did. Why? He WAS sin. He didn't just know it, He was it. He was the guilt and shame we only experience. All so we would become the righteousness of God. Ah! Not so we would be righteous in God's eyes; no, listen, we ARE the righteousness of God. In the same way He was made to BE sin, we were made to BE the righteousness of God. Amen.
